Jhoom Bar-Bar Jhoom

Aah finally something weird for my eyes ! ( Feels good when all things are NOT perfect ! )
Read the wonderful review by NDTV.

1) Its okay to mess up with the gender once in a while ... ( highlighted on to the left ... so that you dont miss the writing on the wall !!!) but ...
2) further ... it says "the two strangers start enjoying each other" Wow . Did the reviewer really mean it ?? Or is it the real story ..wait wait ... I bet he meant to write "the two strangers start enjoying each other's company"
... Aaah Now I get it !

Click on the pic to get a "barabar Zoom".

Cant we get original ? Rip-off or reverse-engineered ?

Before making my decisions .. I did a quick reverse check .. Would Hollywood be plagiarising Hindi Movie Titles into theirs ??? Yeah and this is what I got which came closest to a rip-off (with some 'slight' modifications in their titles ) . Jiyo aur Jeene Do (1969) and Live and Let Die (1973) . Certainly they were 'inspired' by us ! ;)

Now there is more .... Jeeo Aur Jeene Do (1982 ) ( a reverse rip-off ) ( Jitendra and Reena Roy ) should not be confused with the Sailesh Kumar, Tanuja one .( 1969 ) ... How many more to come ?? Am still hunting for interesting rip-offs. Do you have any submissions ?

A Bollywood ending

I dont hate bollywood movies .. I just hate the way they end.
But then again looking at the 150 minutes of adventure, emotion, music, sex and drama packed celluloid life, it is pretty good a bargain for Rs.80-100 . Looking back, it is important to get it all perfect and happy at the end of the movie .. because as we know, it is difficult .. or almost always - impossible in real life. So I started watching the lesser known Bollywood movies, lest I should end up totally incapable of enjoying and appreciating the simple joys of life. Soon I grew bored of them, boredom grew into contempt, contempt into revulsion and further into hatred. ( Iam not a Hollywood movie evangelist either)

I hate the way movies glorify violence. I hate the way they bring in a perfect ending to every single two-something-hour episode. I hate the way they portray a wrong image about life. I hate the way they tell you that life is fair and everything ends well. I hate them because they say that good always triumphs over the evil. I hate them because they mix the emotions so well that people love to feel emotionally vulnerable.

For a moment I kept aside my prejudices and gave a fair look into these movies .. Maybe there is something in them that make people want for more. What makes Indian cinema uniquely different ? And why hasn't the essential 'formula' never changed over the ages ?

a) Songs in Indian Cinema
More than an additional source of revenue for a movie, the songs that come with the movies are more of a historical residue. ( Songs featured from the time man began to speak in the movies. ) There is a song for every occasion- be it a funeral, birthday, festival .. or my favorite - the judaii scene. It will definitely take another research why Indian movie goers cannot live without 5 songs in a movie. But for these songs .. there would never have been a better teen pass time called Antaakshari - What better way to entertain yourself when you are on a four hour journey with 3 girlfriends of yours ? ;)

b) The catchy dialogues ( usually re-used a hundred times)
These can also be used as a quick guide to understand the context if you have missed the previous 3 minutes of the movie.

"Mein tumharey bachey ki ma banne wali hu" ( usually accompanied by very loud background music .. )
context : The duo have an illegitimate affair and the lady is pregnant , .. usually the guy is unwilling to marry and the lady is unwilling for an abortion.

"Kanoon kay hath bahut lambey hothey hein " -
context : The much wanted criminal is finally nabbed by the cops ( can go upto 25-30 years of chase and being in the hit list). The scene might usually be that of an old but influencial and powerful criminal ring leader being handcuffed by a very law abiding and 'clean' policeman with 3 or 4 constables overlooking , and old Mahindra jeep in the background. This might be soon after a bloody confrontation between the two sides ( usually with lots of bullets zipping across and the death of a couple of cops )

"Kuthey ... Mein thera khoon pee jaonga"
Attributed to Dharmendra??. The next scene is definitely going to be violent.
Another reason why the dogs in India ( esp North India) are malnourished.

Tumney Is Khandaan ki izzath ko mitti mey mila diya.
Literary translation : ( You have mixed the Family izzath ( supposedly a strong binding agent ) - with the local sand. ( Didnt you know the chemical formula for the binder was a family secret ?? .. you duffer !)

Yeh Shaadi kabhi nahi ho sakthi .
context :
1) either the rich son tells his dad about his intention to marry a poor girl. ( or vice versa ) or ...
2) during the muhurat of the wedding, some old nobleman dives in to the wedding scene and just as the bride is about to be garland'ed' .. he shouts ... "Nahiiii .. Yeh Shaadi nahi ho sakthi" ( everything stops and the camera zooms in to the elderly mans face )

c) The length of the movie.
Take this : Sholay was 3 hrs 25 minutes .. Lagaan was 3 hrs and 40 mins and LOC Kargil was 4 hrs 15 minutes !!!!!!
Do we really need a 3+ hour escape from reality to entertain ourselves .. really? But looking through the list of the longest movies, I get consoled that not a single Indian movie features in the 10 longest movies. ( longest being a Chinese movie , running time : 27 hrs ! )

d) Absolute lack of variation
Barring the occasional diversions from the norm, we have our 'ready-made-templates' for the actors - Movies are made for the actors. Sometimes the story lines are made with some actor in mind. Can there be a Hrithik Roshan movie where he does not have a dancing number ? Johnny Lever cannot handle ( never ever ) a serious role. Pran is always a villain. Sunny Deol is always angry and hot blooded.

But then again ... an Industry as big as a nation, watching a Hindi movie over the weekend is not that bad an idea.

Trivia :
Of the top 20 All time earners in Bollywood ( adjusting inflation) , there were only 3 movies made post 2000 . - Gadar, Dhoom 2 and Munnabhai-2

Munna Bye !

No doubt, Lage Raho Munna Bhai was a real break from the mundane mush-mush pyar-ishq-mohabbat Hindi movie genre. But I certainly had reservations on the way it has portrayed the Mahatma . No better time to think about it, than now.

Today is October the 2nd ..This day, 137 years ago, someone was born in Gujarat, who would, for ever, change the way we look at resistance movements. ( this also being the 100th year of the revolutionary Satyagraha movement ) Albert Einstein would later say about this man ...
"Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth."
The Hindu Sunday Review yesterday rightly had an article on the way the latest Munna Bhai flick 'uses' the Mahatma as a novel story line - a break away from the usual formula.
It should have stopped there ! The media, religiously followed its instincts, portraying in a heroic way, the great effort done by the director (Raj Kumar Hirani) to spread the Gandhi ideals .

A very bad message - the Mahatma would not be claimed as unreasonable - he was politically savvy - You need to know whom you are fighting . You cannot use the principles of non-violence and civil disobedience against an irrational enemy - ( these links would be a perfect read . http://www.spectacle.org/995/gandhi.html and http://www.spectacle.org/995/scorp.html )

"If Gandhi were to take up the Dandi yatra against the Nazis, he would have barely made it one mile " - Since Gandhi knew that the British were very respectful of the political system and their own judiciary - non-violence seemed to be a very radical idea through with you can attain what you wanted from the British.

The way this is portrayed in the movie is pathetic - it would be senselessly stupid to compare Gandhis non-violence with that of Sanjay Dutt showing the left cheek to the watchman in front of Boman Irani's mansion ( towards the end of the movie ) .
Here is interesting the dilemma - Gandhi could be reliably trusted to never resort to violence even if his methodology of non-violence failed. He could be taken as very honorable and reliable. MunnaBhai is unreliable, unpredictable and unreasonable. As expected and wanted by the audience , MunnaBhai whacks down the watchman after he has shown the second cheek.

With great power comes the need for great composure to restrain it ! - the movie fails to portray that . Gandhi was powerful - very very powerful. He could have easily channelised his mass ppeal to expedite the process of attaining freedom - if he had taken the masses to violent actions - but that would mean the essential breakaway from his own principles.

The movie's stand on consmption of liquor is also not devoid of questioning - how could a iam-drunk-all-the-time goon take up portions of Gandhian philosophy to achieve his needs ? It would be unreasonable to assume that even though knowing about Gandhi was not his primary objective, ultimately the ghost of Gandhi transformed MunnaBhai to a perfect Gandhian. ( compared to the beautiful manner RDB shows DJ ( Aamir Khan) and his friends being transformed into modern day Bhagat Singhs ) But MunnaBhai does not go away without any social implications - a public screening of the movie on October 2nd !! http://www.hinduonnet.com/thehindu/holnus/009200610010321.htm

Needless to say, we essentially live in a period of induced jingoism and irrational nationalism - fueled by the tension across the border and the subtle religious equilibrium. We need to rethink - if movies like L.O.C , Border and their likes ( inablility to recall more names ) should ever be screened.

To leave you with a thought, ...
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
- the Mahatma
.

KANK-ed by KJ

For some one who didn't know what the previous movies of Karan Johar ( referred to from here on as KJ) were, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna ( refered to from here on as KANK) was the perfect sampling of a high-budget bollywood movie portraying NOTHING - a perfect example of how a 'decent' story line could be turned into a stupid melodrama ; the quintessential bollywood stick-on-to-the-formula movie ..

Empty is not the word I would use to describe the theatre .. haunted would suite better. Barely 15 people and most of them i-dont-have-anything-else-in-the-world-to-do look alikes. The acoustics were rather flawed.. I dont blame it on the theatre ... I believe it is because of the empty house ; sound tracks in hindi movies are made such that they sound good when the sound is absorbed by clothes covering human flesh in a packed house .. In this case .. it was resonating against the latex coated cushion seats - hundreds of them .. waiting to sink down under the weight of a bored movie goer.

Like the gold rush of the 1850s, where the biggest money makers were the ones who sold the shovels, the old man at the counter selling coffee must have made a fortune selling hot anti-somniferous fluid to people who try to keep themselves awake watching KANK. Intermission is definitely a welcome break - unless you have left the theatre in total despair.

The movie was nowhere close to reality. It was a dramatization of cliched situations worked out very badly by a director who thinks like a gay fashion designer turned jobless. How can one comprehend such a movie and equate it even remotely close to reality ?

Consider this ..
It mostly rains when Shah Rukh Khan and Rani Mukherjee meet on the streets and get drenched when the whole population of NewYork carry umbrellas or wear ponchos .. May be its Murphy's law always working against them - or maybe they are genuinely poor to afford an umbrella.

Amitabh dressed in flashy fur clothing can be understandably considered as what is demanded by the character ... but the silent background track singing "Sexy-Saaaaaam" when ever Amitabh flirts with a prospective bed-mate was a definite killer.

The humor was pathetic ( lack of apt word ) .. very very corny. The scenes where Shah Rukh is mistakenly tranquilized in the hospital - instead of 'Black Beast' - Rani .. and the resulting confusion ... is NOT FUNNY; it is irritating. Arjun?? (Shah Rukh's son) picking up the ball and returning it to the goalie when he should have scored ..is NOT FUNNY. Its poor humor. The humor brings out the metally-retarded innocence in you. You have to have an heart overflowing with blissful joy to enjoy this humor.

Rani's role was a mistreatment of odds- It gave me a wrong impression that Rani wanted to make love only if you checked in to a hotel. At home she is a vegetable. Husbands, get the message - it pays to get laid. But considering the obvious disadvantage she was at, in portraying her character, Rani did a good job- so did Abhishek. The director always brings out the hidden talents of the actors - particularly when the roles are unfairly challenging.

High points of the movie -
a) the sado-masochist attire on Rani.
b) walking tour of NewYork Skyline.
c) Good camera rolling esp in the song Mithwaaaaa
d) preity zinta dancing in a shamefully golden mini skirt and doing an split second obtuse leg-split in to the air.
e) Catchy foot tapping melodies.

I realized that KJ movies promise interrupted flows of tears punctuated by songs that come out of nowhere . Definitely a watchable movie if you want to kill some time, loose some money and get a headache as a take away. KANK was a sign - a desperate call to end it - It was .... an Alvida to All Karan Johar movies.

Rang de Basanti - I survived to tell the tale

Hindi movies are a strict no-no to me .. mostly because I need someone next to me to replay the subtle innuendoes and "jokes" . ( not that I dont understand or read Hindi .. I do both with flair.. except for the fine prints, slangs and ghaalis) ( I survived a week trying to speak back in Bundelkhandi ( a laid back hindi-dialect in central India) ..
back to movies ...
I rarely watch them unless it has Aamir Khan in it ... ( you can always hit upon a Khan in a Hindi movie .. Aamir, Shahrukh, Salman ... ) ... Rang de Basanti was the latest !

Now .. a little on the inspiration for the movie

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending/inside details follow.

Inspired by a real life hero, IAF MIG-21 fighter pilot Flight Lieutenant Abhijit Gadgil, who crashed into the deserts of Rajasthan, owning to some technical glitches, and was unrightly blamed for his inept flying ! ...
The mother protests ... and the plot thickens....
Note : RDB is much more graphic and far reaching than what actually happened .

Less-than-a-Million dollar Baby !

My brother told me to watch that movie .. when ever my brother suggests a movie .. I bet its worth it ! .. he suggested My Life as a Dog, Pulp Fiction, Dog Day Afternoon and Shawshank Redemption. and now ...the Million dollar baby .. Somehow I just could not fully appreciate it .. though partly I got into the swing of it . It was much hyped for me . Maybe its the company that matters.

Did Harry meet Sally ?

There are some movies ... made to be watched when you are upset and those movies really make you feel good .. make you jump up on your feet and make you talk to yourselves ....

some how ... im just back after jumping on my feet and talking to myself ... Meg Ryan .. .and Billy Crystal .. .When Harry met Sally .... and some how i had that feeling .. that Meg was made for such movies ... only for such movies ... or is it that such movies are made for Meg alone ??

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day . ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.